Fecal Elimination

90 year old lady calls us because her blood pressuure machine reads 160/90 and she thinks that is too high. I have her call her doctor, who tells her to come to his office instead.

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A woman falls at the bottom of the stairs, hears a crack in her ankle. She gets 10 of morphine and a pillow splint before we even move her. She has a comfortable ride to the hospital.

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Another 90 year old lady tells her visiting nurse her heart feels irregular. We brought her to the hospital for the same thing several weeks ago. She wore a halter monitor that showed she has tachy-brady syndrome. The nurse is concerned that her blood pressure is only 90/60. I listen to it, very slowly. I get 140/90. You listen too quickly to an irregular rate and you will get a false reading. She goes back to the same hospital. She is in no distress.

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It looks like one of our medics out here will be leaving in December. He works Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. While I have seniority over him, out here once you are in a shift, you are in a shift. Since I used to play softball every Sunday in the Summer, I chose to work the Thursday, Friday, Saturday shift, and have twice declined the beginning of the week shift. The problem with the end of the week shift is I have no weekend. I have to be at work Saturday morning at six so no late Friday nights, and my Saturday shift ends at ten, so I am too tired to go out, particuarly if I can boned with a late call. I'm looking forward to shifting.

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Just finished studying "Fecal Elimination." About a year and a half ago, I was bored and heard about this program where a paramedic could get a nursing degree by taking exams. While I had no real desire to be a nurse, I thought it might be a good education and a good insurance policy in the event I hurt myself or overtime dried up. I banged out five courses in five months -- Gerentology, Life Span Development, Anatomy and Physiology, MicroBiology and Nursing 1 with three As and 2 Bs. I took the tests in a nearby town on a computer. They took less than 2 hours and I got my grade each time before leaving. I was all set to take Nursing 2 when I realized while I could probably pass the test, I really hadn't studied and what was the point in taking the course if I wasn't intent on learning.

Anyway, since I had already registered to take the exam, I had a year to take it, and my year ends in September and I have been too busy to pick up a book in that time, so today I picked up the book. I'm taking the test next Tuesday before work.

Here's what's on it: Nutrition, Elimination, Oxygenation, Fluid and Electrolyte Balance, Activity and Mobility, and Rest and Sleep.

Today I learned about enemas and colostomies.

After I take Nursing 2, I have to pay $800 if I want to enroll in the program. You have to be enrolled to take Nursing 3-7. Each test cost about $200. After completing those courses, you do a two day clinical, where you show them you can do IVs, foleys, put pills in paper cups, and then you have to take care of three patients, writing a nursing plan, and making certain you wash your hands all the time, while a grey faced nurse with a pointy hat makes notations on a clipboard. The practical only has a 60% pass rate and costs $1500 to take. I wouldn't want to fail that. I do much better on the writen than practicals.

Assuming you pass everything the first time(and depending on the prerequisites you need), the whole cost for me is about $6000 for the degree. It is good in 48 states.

The place is called Excelsior College.

Excelsior College

I'm not planning on enrolling for awhile -- not until I'm ready to bang out the rest of the courses, which could be awhile. I love being a paramedic, the overtime is unlimited, and I've got too many other things keeping me busy.

Tonight I study Urinary Elimination.