License and Registration

Guy goes to the paint store, buys some white paint. Driving back to his mother's house in the north end of the city he is driving through a green light when bam. He gets slammed by a car being chased by the police. The other car rolls. A fire hydrant is hit. Water sprays everywhere. The guys in the rolled car get out and run down the street, the cops in foot pursuit. The other guy gets out of the car feels pain in his legs and lays down on the sidewalk.

When we get there, I see the guy on the sidewalk. His face and shirt are white with goop. I look inside the car. There is an exploded paint can. We board and collar him and take him to the hospital.

I check in with him later and he is all cleaned up. "Dude," I say, "I thought you were a white guy. I was thinking what are you doing in this part of town?"

Later we went to a nursing home for a lady who lost control of her motorized wheel chair and slammed her foot into her bed. The first thing I asked was for her licence and registration. My day to be the comedian. I'm going to have to draw blood to check your alcohol level, I said.

***
Busy day. Did eight calls.

A woman who got into a family argument, then wanted her blood pressure checked.

A woman given antibiotics two weeks ago for a stomach virus, not feeling well and with no appetite.

A child who dialed 911, not knowing what she was doing.

A crazy guy from a nursing home who was eating the fern trees by the nurses station and chewing on wallpaper and just babbling inanely.

Another crazy guy going from a crazy unit of a hospital to a hospital just for crazy people. After we pulled him out on the stretcher at the crazy hospital, we let him have a last cigarette before we took him in. He lay on our stretcher, staring up at the ramp leading to the locked doors, and sucked on his cigarette. Then he said, "Let's do it."

And we did a transfer, an old woman with cancer with a painful back and shoulder. I drove the long way to avoid the bumps.