Paramedic Aptitude Exam

So you want to be a Paramedic?

Question Number 1.

Your elderly patient, who was vomiting last night, has fallen out of bed onto the carpet and is too weak to get up. The patient has been on the gound for over an hour and was unable to hold off amazingly large loose bowell movements that are now all over the patient's front side, some dried, some not. By the time you arrive, the patient has been face down in the mess and rolling on it for over an hour. The patient denies any pain, is alert and has stable vitals. Their bathrobe is also smeared in the stuff. After clearing cspine, and doing your full assesment, what do you do?

A. Put lots of chucks and blankets on the stretcher to protect it from the body fluids and to wrap the patient up in it so you don't have to smell it all the way to the hospital.

B. Try not to puke while you wipe the feces off, going through several wet towels, a box of Kleenex, more towels, a sheet, then finally get the patient up, take off the robe and teeshirt, help the patient into the shower, and bathe and soap them, getting all the crap off, so they are clean and sweet smelling, and then set them down on clean sheets, and bundle them up so they are warm, then later take your work shirt off and wrap it in a plastic bag and tie it tight, then go rewash your hands and face multiple times, and suck down some powerful Halls coughdrops to try to drive the smell from your nose.


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Ended up with five calls, four ALS. Nothing exciting. A pneumonia, a couple syncopes, question of a hip fracture, CO poisioning.