Sunday, July 03, 2005

Open Sesame

Most ER doors require you punch in a code to get in. The usual code is 911 * or 911#. At one of the hospitals they have set up a security station just inside the door and the security guard has a switch that enables him to automatically open the doors when he sees someone approach.

I laugh myself silly standing outside the door and declaring "Open Sesame!" when people approach. I have it timed so that as soon as I say it they are coming into view of the security guard inside who opens the door. Sometimes I clap my hands and say "Clap open, the clapper!" Others I simply say, "allow me to open the door for you," and i extend my arm to allow them to pass as the door opens.

My timing is something that needs to be seen.

Perfect every time.

I kill myself sometimes with the simplest amusements.

Today I see this volunteer ambulance pull up and park across the street because they can't fit their big box rig in the drive. I'm guessing that the driver is new because he could have pulled up on the sidewalk instead of parking on the other side of the street. He and his partner pull their very large patient out of the rig, and try to come up the steep end of the driveway. They can't push the patient up the hill, and for a moment I am worried, they are going to flip the person. Someone closer than me comes to their aid, and helps them go around to the more level end. Next I see them coming around the ambulances in the drive.

"Can you get the door for me?" the guy lugging the front says.

I am not standing in my usual spot. I gauge where he is, then say, "Just say 'Open Sesame!'"

"Hey I have a patient here!" he says angrily.

"Open Sesame!" I say again.

And the door opens just like that.

Everybody watching cracks up, but I think the guy is pissed off at me. I think he is so busy trying to pull the patient along that the joke is lost him. Maybe he thinks someone else opened the door and I was being a wise guy.

I think about finding him to apologize and explain, but then I forget about it.


Did five calls today. A transfer, a crazy lady, a homeless man, a dsypnea and fall.